Tr(us)t

Nooo... It's already week 3 and I'm so far behind. Hmm OK maybe I'm not. It's been tiring in any case, running around school, running, running on a field... too much running! Nah I jest, Ruben likes running.

I think it's time Ruben embraced the fact that he's pretty different (read whack) from most people in that he has this uncanny (mis)fortune of having (not necessary liking) to do things the long and hard way. You know, somehow, somewhere along the lines the big man in the sky decided to make his life more interesting than the average mortal by setting it to hard mode. After all, Ruben can handle it right? Yea, that idiot with more luck than a beggar finding a bagel and is capable of cutting open his own finger in his army camp. Actually that sounds like an excellent recipe for disaster and there have been too many close calls.

Thankfully the misses haven't been the worst and the hits have been the best (questionably so) but that's besides the point that Ruben likes running... No wait, totally lost the focus of this. Okay... running... do things... hard way... see the link? Yes? No? I hope so.

I think I should be the first to admit I used to run away a lot, I remember running away from a fight back in primary school when my friends and we were outnumbered and I abandoned them, like I literally scooted off with my bag faster than running for recess. It was something life-changing, in that I think I lost their trust in me after that, as young as we were but they looked at me different and when I met one of them years later... I asked if he remembered and yes he did, but it was all in the past and all in the childhood and shit... I couldn't help but apologize. It affected greatly because I realized years later the extent of cowardice I had displayed in my youth. I could have fought, went home with a bloodied mouth, but earned the trust and respect of my friends.

To think that such a cowardly act in my youth has changed me so.

Anyways, the years have rolled by and much has changed. I realized trust is something easily lost in a whisper and earned only through blood, tears and strife. It is after all in the tough times that we find those we can truly rely on, not in the happy moments.

So when I do put any degree of faith and trust in a person I would like to think they would prove me right. I don't expect anyone to feel obliged to me for anything because I think everyone has their own standards and systems and I respect that. Though there may have been some misunderstandings over the years and recently I'm glad most of the people (precious few they are) that I've trusted have never let me down.

OK too many thoughts, lost track, refocus Ruben!! Hmm. Much. Better.



Life. Running. Hard. Trust.

I guess not everyone has life smooth sailing and easy and some of us get it so much harder, but I feel it's a blessing in disguise as hardships and adversity make us stronger when we do overcome them.




How long you take to get there is inconsequential, what matters is that you did, alone or relying on the people you trust or trust in you.

I've gone on for too long on this senseless rant. Mmm I just find it good that I have something to believe in, more than just myself.