Breaking Benjamin
I have never felt so uncaring for my life till today, not this much before. Seeing her cry just brought me down, back to earth, to reality, to tears. I just broke down sitting there in front of her.
Its not like I wanted things to be like this, but people change. My feelings have too, they have changed for some time already. I'm so sorry but I'm nowhere near perfect, I'm so deeply flawed. It cut me too to have to say those things to you, yet I felt I had no choice, I had to do the wrong thing for the right reason.
Today and yesterday have taken everything out of me, I'm so drained, so exhausted.
Sometimes I just want to be alone, yet I hate feeling lonely. Right now I feel like its just me and 4 walls closing down on me being.
Listening to Give Me A Sign, it just speaks volumes to me, no, lessons about life and love. Gosh it kinda swept me away in emotion, so many memories rolling back like a film in rewind. Fond memories, sad memories, memories of hope, memories of failing in life.
Right now I can't care if I died. I'm really at my wit's end as to what to do or which direction I should take. I've never felt so alone and isolated in my life while in NS, at least at Tekong I would have friends, but where I am, its just me, and a boss who is on a different wavelength, different society, different mannerisms. I find it so tough to work with him. Half the time I wonder if its some cruel joke. He just comes across as being uncouth, tactless and rather impolite. Like I said, different groups of people, I belong to a group which speaks with more class and thought. Some other social groups are just blunt.
Sigh, I'm darn confused now by many things, where's life taking me? I don't know whats going on, or even what I'm doing. Its like reading signals in the dark. I'm uncertain.
I really wish for a miracle, God, please shed your blessed light onto me so I can see a way out, help me please because I'm in a corner and I don't know the way out, I so badly need some respite, some escape from this hell I go through.
I have never felt so uncaring for my life till today, not this much before. Seeing her cry just brought me down, back to earth, to reality, to tears. I just broke down sitting there in front of her.
Its not like I wanted things to be like this, but people change. My feelings have too, they have changed for some time already. I'm so sorry but I'm nowhere near perfect, I'm so deeply flawed. It cut me too to have to say those things to you, yet I felt I had no choice, I had to do the wrong thing for the right reason.
Today and yesterday have taken everything out of me, I'm so drained, so exhausted.
Sometimes I just want to be alone, yet I hate feeling lonely. Right now I feel like its just me and 4 walls closing down on me being.
Listening to Give Me A Sign, it just speaks volumes to me, no, lessons about life and love. Gosh it kinda swept me away in emotion, so many memories rolling back like a film in rewind. Fond memories, sad memories, memories of hope, memories of failing in life.
Right now I can't care if I died. I'm really at my wit's end as to what to do or which direction I should take. I've never felt so alone and isolated in my life while in NS, at least at Tekong I would have friends, but where I am, its just me, and a boss who is on a different wavelength, different society, different mannerisms. I find it so tough to work with him. Half the time I wonder if its some cruel joke. He just comes across as being uncouth, tactless and rather impolite. Like I said, different groups of people, I belong to a group which speaks with more class and thought. Some other social groups are just blunt.
Sigh, I'm darn confused now by many things, where's life taking me? I don't know whats going on, or even what I'm doing. Its like reading signals in the dark. I'm uncertain.
I really wish for a miracle, God, please shed your blessed light onto me so I can see a way out, help me please because I'm in a corner and I don't know the way out, I so badly need some respite, some escape from this hell I go through.
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