Unbreakable


Mmmm packing/packed my room, looked through many old stuff, cards, letters, slips of paper. So many memories came flooding back. Friends, people who were friends, and others. It seems like a lot to think about.

Amazing how a simple card can make people feel so happy huh? I contemplated throwing some really really old stuff away but I thought, what if one day I wanna look back at this memory? Hah, so I just cleared my secondary school notes and random stuff and some un-needed JC notes. All the things I drew on my notes, all the moments that went by over the last three years.

And really all I can say is wow. I never saw myself doing all that. I always thought I would grow up and be bloody happy alone with 4 dogs and die rich and famous. But no, God had other plans for me I guess?

I've just had a really tough time this year. And if not for a couple of people who've been there to offer me their words and a listening ear... I don't think I would have survived.

I asked my ex if she could turn back time, would she regret having met me and going through so much together, she said no. It struck me then that no matter how painful and hurting some experiences may be, they still make us who we are today, without them, we might be different now. Its all part of growing up, learning to be an adult, finding out what our place in this world is.

I must be really and obscenely emo to have said all this, but I am, and I haven't been like this for over a year. I hate uncertainties and things I cannot control. I wish I could know some things but I can't, so all I can do is wait.

Talking to Mat yesterday really helped, I felt much clearer, much more aware of my impact on the people around me. The difference between humans and animals is that we hope, and we believe in the near impossible.

Our imperfections sometimes are the most beautiful things I've seen.