Half A Year Ago

I was dying to get into BMT and all... 6 months on... I'm finally out, and so much has changed...

My intention to sign on was ruined as I injured my left foot midway through BMT... it really affected me alot and the best thing now is that the stupid doctor from MMI claims my foot is perfectly fine, that after initially agreeing with the x-ray that there was degeneration in a bone. Like wtf...

It has affected my lifestyle very badly over the last few months. I haven't ran or played football for 3 months now, effectively cutting off all communication with my JC guy friends. I spent the remainder of BMT sitting around and doing odd jobs. and my weekends were as dull as wood.

Got posted to Signals. like omg... its all science and computer work kinda stuff. Things I can't do at all. My first week just passed and I feel really depressed and disillusioned with my life. The worst thing is that I have to stay in.

I'm hanging on a thread right now. I don't know what's wrong with my foot or my neck, and how quickly I can get treatment for it. Honestly I am not really keen on "keng"ing... I rather find a cure than be diagnosed with some lifelong problem. To top that all up, I might have to pay or get charged for a pillow that went missing while I was the bunk IC of bunk 4 which is now closed. When I last checked the room with my staff sergeant the pillow was still around but somehow before I locked it up the damn thing went missing. I swear if I get charged or whatever I'm just gonna lose it.

I've had enough shit happen to me already, especially over my bloody foot. I don't need more setbacks and problems. I can honestly say that right now is a really low period in my life and looking back I do miss my unit alot, ALD has given much to me that I cannot repay. The good times sadly can never last and that it was my choice to leave makes it much more regrettable... but everybody makes tough decisions.

Have to book in tonight... like wtf again... and I've guard duty tomorrow. I thought Tekong was much more strict and even then I was excused from a second guard duty due to my injury and status shit. But in this unit it's like everybody has to do it. The best part being that my platoon is a PES C platoon with people who are PES C or on long term statuses. I mean like... we're all injured and have various problems so why do we still need to do such duties? Aren't there enough combat fit people around to fill up the rosters? Honestly seems really ridiculous to me.

Sigh... maybe its just the start, but I can't handle this avalanche of depression thats just weighing me down.

Please help me God.. :/