What is there left to describe this? What is this? I'm exasperated, utterly confused, like boxing in the dark and getting caught out point blank by an uppercut you never see coming.
Honestly, what am I to make of it? What am I to make of you? Maybe it''s just me over-reading like the idiot that I am, and that yes, I am just merely being informed out of courtesy.
It's not like I'm totally cold, a part of me is very human too, very capable of feeling distraught, confused, hurt. Behind the ice and steel is a soul. I mean I can't help but feel effing worried after hearing such news. Like wow you just want me to not reply or contact you? It's like shooting a person in the foot and telling him to walk home alone.
I'm just very very speechless right now, too many thoughts, too many questions, no way to find answers.
Fuck it.
"you know nothing"
And sadly, neither do I. And that troubles me.
What is the use of a sword, if one does not know where to point it, where to strike home? Why be a weapon when I know not what enemies I face... right?
Yet I know I must be... driven, directed by a purpose, led by what I believe in, and as old fashioned as it is, what honour dictates.
I've no mood for just about anything now. Gah.
Today just topped it all off, the carelessness, the ignorance to detail by her. If I'm just another, a dispensable... then let me know, so I can sheath that sword, not that I want to, but that you see no purpose for me.
No comments:
Post a Comment